Nothing vs. Everything and Other Conundrums You Might Not Care About

Nothing vs. Everything and Other Conundrums You Might Not Care About

by Kristen Fogle

 

I’m starting to believe the old adage. I can’t remember the exact words, but I believe them.

Wait, I’ve got it.

If you can’t do, teach. That’s it. That’s the one.

I’m starting to believe that I’ve become decent at showing others the door. I’ve become well versed in saying, believe in joy, believe in anything, believe, first and foremost in you.

Except I’m watching these people around me go on to do some really cool stuff--publish books, work at better theaters, showcase their art. And I’m sitting here at midnight making lesson plans for gratitude boxes and vision boards for others...not quite grimacing, but just leary of my own trajectory, or lack thereof.

...There are two kinds of blocked people I think. The book I most often teach from--The Artist’s Way--lists a lot of different ways you can be blocked, but I think I can narrow it down...at least for the purposes of this blog post.

There are people that as kids were told they could do nothing, and there are people as kids that were told they could do everything.

I am the latter. In Catholic school there was both a sense of you-are-sinner and simultaneously you-are-better. Better than the public school kids, better than the Protestants. Throw in that I am a you are special child of the 80s, and I’m completely f***ed.

I went to a college prep high school where Ivy league, private, and UC schools were expectations. When I went to a Cal State after a round about trip back east and then Santa Monica College so I could justify an apartment in Venice, I really felt I had failed at life. But to atone, I’ve been one of those people involved in every club, every activity, every everything. I was told I could be, so I be’d myself to death.

Let’s recap. Can’t do, teach. Me=Teach. Check. Do everything or do nothing. Do everything. Check.

But Kristen, if you’re doing everything, you’re doing, right?

No, not really.

Life spherically in all directions is a quote I like from the movie “Under the Tuscan Sun.”

Unfortunately if you live in spirals, you get dizzy.

And I’ve been dizzy for a long time. Dizzy at some fun magazine jobs. Dizzy directing some cool shows. Doing in an unfocused fashion.

Which brings me to here. I guess what I want to do in this space is share, which yes, is akin to or is by proxy teaching. But I want to show the do, the real doing and living going on, not just what I want to convey in a two hour class because, well, you’re paying and I’ve just bought a s*** ton of glossy paper to make affirmation cards.

I want to get off my ass a little more and get back to you.

 Those who teach, do…

Yea, let’s aim for that new phrase.

 

 

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